Helen Dewdney, The Complaining Cow is represented by Cloud9management. For all enquiries from the media or companies wishing Helen to provide services please email or ring 0207 637 2903. For all other enquiries please read below to ensure that your email gets answered.

Emails relating to any issues regarding consumer rights sent to the above address will not be read.

Please read this page below BEFORE emailing me or it is possible that I will not respond. (I am a great advocate of good manners so I do not like to ignore emails but I do expect good manners from other people too!!)

People are beginning to email me the same email to more than one email address! Please don’t be so ridiculous! Read the below and you will know the appropriate one to use!

Your Complaints
Please do not openly or blind copy me into emails to companies. I will not read or do anything with them and I see enough without being cc’d!  Also it won’t make the slightest difference to a company who you copy in. Thanks. Same with tweets really too. I’d advise you don’t do this with other journalists/companies as they will not pick anything up either. It’s actually quite rude expecting someone to pick up your story without you having even bothering to contact them first, another reason why this tactic never works. And if you do contact them make sure you read all of their contact pages regarding what people can and can’t answer!

Please please please do not email complaints that are “just for my information” or “for my interest” or anything about bad service experienced and how companies dealt with your issue! Or stories of your complaint successes or failures. Thousands of complaints are sent to companies every day.  I’m sorry I do not have the time to read them and will do nothing with them at all. Please put what you were going to email me in a comment on a relevant blog post as I do read all comments on the blog. I am more than happy for you to share the information in this more appropriate way.Thanks.

Please do not send me stories because you think yours is a little different, or you think I will find it more interesting than anyone else’s. You have more chance of winning the Lottery than of your complaint being unique in nature and I am unable to read them. There are just too many and it is not fair to read YOURS and no-one else’s! Please respect this and understand when you do not get a reply.

Attachments will not be read.

Please, only send me an email with no more than one short paragraph if you are asking for my advice regarding a complaint. Please ensure you follow the guidance in Information below. Sorry, but as I am sure you appreciate I am unable to read through masses of emails every day and advise. If you have followed all the advice on the blog and/or the book you don’t need me to do it for you anyway! If you still feel that you need me to help you other than providing an answer to a short query to which you can’t find on the blog, then please see Services below.

Worth saying again. Please do not send me your stories of any kind, find a relevant blog post and share your experience there. If less than two short paragraphs I will read it. ON THE BLOG!

Can be found here.

Information and complaint queries
I would dearly like to help everyone that emails me and asks for my help but unfortunately no-one pays me to do this, and I get inundated with requests for help (even having written this page!)  I just do not have the time and it is not physically possible to help everyone. If you want my help then you must read this section thoroughly. Please also note that I am unable to provide telephone help. Also, most, if not all the queries I get asked can be answered in How To Complain: The Essential Guide to Getting Refunds, Redress and Results! You’ll probably get more than the book costs the first time you use it (as many reviewers have said!)

You can also use the search box on the site and put in a couple of different words related to your complaint a few times as you may find the help you need in a post, such as “Holiday”, “Purchasing online”, “Banks”, “communications” “mobile” “flight”, “Car”, “Sale of Goods Act” “faulty” etc. If for example you have problems with the supply of a bathroom, look up similar things (as they are when it comes to goods and services!) such as “Kitchen” or “Bedroom”.  You will find a post that probably outlines everything you need and will probably give you more details than I can in an email. Your complaint is highly likely to be covered by a post and if so I will only send you a link to it. So please research the site first, you may find it actually saves you time and I will be grateful not having to do the search because you are too lazy to do so! I will be more likely to give you help if you tell me the pages you have looked at that apparently don’t give you the information you need. If I send you links in response to your email that you haven’t looked at then it is because I’m feeling kind and generous in spending the time which you couldn’t be bothered to do! And trust me, I won’t be happy about it!

You can also look at the Top 20 Tips for how to complain and more tips on my YouTube channel. You can subscribe to this channel to get updates. If you really think that your answer cannot be found on the website or in the book then please email me briefly. (one short paragraph). Anything longer than a short paragraph will not get read as I just do not have the time as I am sure you will appreciate! It probably also means that either you haven’t looked through the website or you need my services. Oh and if you don’t say “Please” when asking for help then I’m very likely to ignore your email! I particularly like the people who are very well mannered and say “Thank you” like my Facebook page and tweet out the website before emailing me 🙂 It still amazes me, that people on Twitter, ask for my advice on there and here without even a ” please” or a follow!

Incidentally, I do find some emails very rude, those that refer to me as “Sir” or “Sir/Madam” or “” or “To whom it may concern”! Or “Hi” clearly a generic email. All used more than once. It just shows that you haven’t even bothered to look at anything on the website or even a quick google search! Not even to find my name, yet you want my free help! I am very unlikely to respond to these emails. If I have aren’t you lucky when you were so rude?!

Wanting to work with me?
Great. If it is a mutual partnership where we both gain then contact me. However, if you are a business please make sure you know the difference between “your” “you’re” and “you are”, or “their” “there” and “they’re” because  sorry and all that, but you can’t help businesses improve when your own standard of English is poor, you don’t recognise it and don’t ask people to help you. Poor business model – perhaps I can help you with that?! (I can forgive typos but there is a limit! ;))

Please also have the courtesy of looking through the site before contacting me so you don’t waste yours or my time.

Sorry, I do do working in partnership but too many people of late, just seem to get in touch to say “promote me, look what I do” and it’s annoying! However, if you truly do have something different to offer, tell me about it in a short paragraph in an email.

I do not take sponsored posts of any description. Offer me an “opportunity” or anything like it, you get blocked.

Video calls
As I am sure you will appreciate, I get inundated for requests for help etc. Hence my request for keeping things short when emailing me. Email is my preferred point of contact. I do not undertake video calls with people I have never met for time and safety reasons. Sorry, I am sure decent people who would be no problem understand this but I don’t know if you do or don’t so it has to be a no no.

Guest blogs
Strictly invite only, please do not request to do a guest blog post on my site. I am happy to do guest posts on other sites. I know that sounds odd, but too many people ask to do a guest post without even having the courtesy of looking at what this site is about and asking me to do a guest post is not the same.  I do not take paid for posts either. If you email me saying that you want to write a blog post paying me or otherwise for your company or on behalf of a client you will be blocked. Reasons two fold – one you haven’t bothered to read and/or understand this paragraph and two you are rude. The worst are the generic “I love your site” types and then bang on about something wholly irrelevant to the site. Or those who say they can write about anything. On your bike.

Contacting CEOS
Contacting CEOs – I do NOT have contact details for CEOS. Please see to get a CEO’s contact details.

SEO, marketing, card reader, water cooler companies etc.
Don’t bother, you get blocked soon as you are seen in the inbox. I don’t even open the email.

Contacting me and my agent or ring 0207 637 2903 for enquiries from the mediaI do not answer general queries from this email address and only emails from the media will be answered by my agent at Cloud9 Management. for enquiries about services. Please read the link before using this email address and certainly all of the above. Services are charged for. for general enquiries but please ensure you have read all of this post BEFORE emailing me. And yes it is worth saying again because people are still emailing me who clearly haven’t read it! Please do not email me offering advertising or guest posts or asking for help or advice regarding a complaint without reading the information above. And yes, it appears it is worth saying AGAIN!

Please note I will not respond to any queries regarding unsolicited goods. All the information you need is in the post.

Please note I only cover consumer rights. For example if you have been accused of theft, or you want to accuse a staff member of anything other than poor service, e.g. physically hurting you or stealing then these are criminal allegations with which I cannot help, sorry. I advise you to contact Citizen’s Advice Bureau. Another example, employment issues, again, please seek help from CAB and also look up ACAS website for lots of information.

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